Have you thought about the things you’re just not going to do anymore or you’re finally willing to change, let go? Say “F¥€K it?!” Rather the opposite to collecting what you do want to do, your “bucket” list? Well I have. These last several years, starting back in 2011 when my late husband had a fairly bad stroke which impacted him till he died, to his diagnosis with cancer, all the alternative and allopathic treatments, to the rounds of chemo and unnecessary radiation- watching someone you love suffer- my life changed. No one knows unless they too have walked this path, how it depletes your emotional reserves, zaps your energy, and puts your mind on overload. It takes time to recover, heal, feel normal. It brings you to a place of how vital each day is, what’s critical and what isn’t. It becomes crystal clear.
In the healing process, it’s very revealing what is good or no longer works in your life because your location has changed, perspective shifted. Clearing out the emotional baggage, recycling the heavily burdened, beatup luggage, is not only essential it’s mandatory. Thus my New Years list.
“F¥€K It” numero uno: “Im not going to concern myself with what others think about my choices, decisions and directions!!” Obviously I’m pretty good at not being consumed with others thoughts, otherwise I’d never stepped up to the psychic plate, however, when you deal with someone else’s family and friends after a death, and they all have opinions on what you do or don’t do, and what’s appropriate and inappropriate, how to grieve etc and you want to keep everyone happy, it becomes a heavy chore. I’m done. If people don’t like my choices, walk in my shoes.
I feel this applies to all of us. If we’re doing the very best we can at any given moment with the tools we’ve been given, then five gold stars to us! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
“F¥€K It” number two: “Nix being perfect.” I have been a perfectionist my entire life. Ironically it’s not about the world around me being perfect, it’s me. My thoughts, actions, looks, all perfect. Life, through the “bulldozer method” of the last several years, has taught me, it’s not only impossible, it’s not reality at this level. Age also has a way of balancing that perfection, as it slinks and sinks and reshapes our physicality. So my house is a bit messy, my hair curly and wild, my body less firm, live in yoga pants and Uggs, I stay up late and sleep in longer, eat organic chocolate and down honey, and I’m happy with me. Perfectionism is down the drain.
“F¥€K It” number three: “I’m going to say what I feel.” This past year I’ve been angry and hurt and mad and sad and have said my share of inappropriate words under my breath. Me who never says the “F” word, (there goes my perfectionism.) I have been put into very uncomfortable situations with the stress bearing down on me like a twelve story building. I’ve had to be politically correct and keep peace. I’ve had to hold my tongue then later scream at the sky. So F-It! Screw being PC. If this is the truth, the facts and is what is, then these will be my words. I will speak my truth. I’m in complete upfront honesty. Zero subterfuge and subtleties.
“F¥€K It” number four: “Im not listening to the negativity of the world, I’m leaving the drama behind.” After my husband died a year ago, I turned off the TV. He was a total news junkie, living on Fox and CNN switching back and forth soaking in all the hyperbole, all the negativity. I have always been intangled in the political arena and the dark underpinnings of the planet. I’ve taken a vacay. I’m not missing the constant negativity. I know I still get the vital pieces of news that are pertinent yet I’m not becoming embroiled in the gigantic division and polarity that has divided this county. I was given grief because I wasn’t caught up in the Hilary/Trump madness and the upcoming inauguration. F-It! I’m not going there! I am creating my positive environment choosing the reality I want to live in yet totally aware.
“F¥€K It” number five: “I’m not feeling obligated.” I come from a family of saints. No kidding. My aunt, we’ve called Saint Sharon for some time and my cousin Shawn is now following closely behind to take up her crown. They cover every ceremony, every birthday, every everything. Me? Not so much. I’m invited by wonderful people to do things, share events and yet due to my healing process still don’t have that extra element, extra cush to participate. So I’m saying thank you very much, I’m grateful, but I have to say no thank you, not yet.
“F¥€K It” number six: “No more Worry.” This is a family dynamic. Worry. I’m also surrounded by those who worry and fret and become anxious over all this “What If?” bull shit. What if this, what if that, and I’m worried about so and so and I’m worried to death about the state of the world etc etc etc. Well hell. Worry breeds worry. It’ll kill us, this worry, this fear. It totally stresses out the nervous system shortening our lives by inches, feet, years. Besides all it does is eat away at the confidence of the people we’re worrying about, back-firing the purpose. It never changed the cancer either. So F-It to worry. Instead I’m chosing peace and trust and calm.
“F¥€K It” number seven: “I’m going to say Yes!” I’ve been in the position I’ve had to say no to a lot of things, I’ve wanted to do. Now, I’m going to say yes to things, ~to life~ without feeling obligated and doing things I’d regret if I didn’t. Life is just too damn short. It’s literally time to make this the very best year, the very best time with what I have before me, with the tools I’ve been given, even with the goodbyes I’ve had to say. I know they wouldn’t want it any other way.
“F¥€K It” number eight: “To being practical at the expense of time and space.” I was raised by Depression babies. We save, recycle, reuse. From plastic baggies to holiday boxes, you name it we reuse it. Only, I’ve now moved to a one car garage home. There is no room for extras and things I might use again in ten years. I’m incredibly practical and can squeeze more out of a dollar than most. However, I’ve made the decision to take my husband’s new sport coats and dress shirts he wore once to Good Will so someone can use them who could really benefit. The dress bag represents several thousand dollars, however it’s time to let go and give instead of trying to make money from them which takes up valuable time. It makes my heart lighter. And it gives me more closet space. Nice. This is not practical but it’s smart.
“F¥€K It” number nine: “I’m going to sing!” My dad couldn’t carry a tune in a paper bag and had zero rhythm. Fortnuately I got my mom’s musical talents but have been convinced I couldn’t sing. I love music. I could’ve been a DJ, won music knowledge contests but still have shied away. Till now. I love to sing in the shower, in my car and up close and personal. I’m no singer however I’m going to enjoy music in the way I’ve clamored for even if it’s in the privacy of my car. If my windows are down you might want to roll yours up but I’m going for it, F-it!
🎼I believe if we all sing and dance and unite under the umbrella of musical communication, the world will be a better place.🎼
“F¥€K It” number ten: “I’m laughing at everything!” Actually if looked at from the right angle, everything has the opportunity to be funny otherwise comedians wouldn’t have any fodder. Besides laughter is truly our best medicine combined with love. It’s time to find the absurdity in everything, the comedy in the drama. Make a point to laugh daily. Even in my sadness, I learned to laugh. Now it’s at most things. As Shakespeare so wisely stated, “All life’s a stage,” so it might as well be “As you like it.”
“F¥€K It” number eleven: “I’m going for it!” Im going to utilize my talents. I’m not alone. We all have gifts and talents and tools to offer each other and the world, but we hold ourselves back from our true creativity for multitudes of reasons. Obligations, responsibilities, fears, timing. Or we think we’re not good enough. Well F-it! I’m going for it. I’ve written several books that need revision, healing card’s that need finishing, books I’ve out lined, paintings I’ve imagined. Well it’s just plain time to step up to the plate, make them materialize into reality.
If we all followed through with our dreams of growing a garden, building a green house, cooking great Italian, learning to track, carving a totem pole, to everything else in between we’ve wanted to learn and accomplish, we’d be a happier species. Laugh more too. So no more excuses. Every day take one step closer to your dreams. It’s time to live without drama, live in and with peace. But we have to do it. It won’t happen without our participation. Join me with your own F-it list.
Cosmic sunshine to you.