“It’s Always All About Us”

Funny how it works. We think “it’s” outside ourselves, all the turmoil, stress, chaos of relationships, work, politics …the emotional triggers…however the more I do inner work – explore greater potentials- I’m in total alignment with the Hoponopono concept and Buddhist principles, it’s our story, our garbage we need to clean up. If there’s an emotional trigger from an event or something someone says, or an expectation that sets up an uncomfortable reaction – anger, hurt, sadness, rejection, fear, etc. etc-  in our solar plexus, our lower backs, neck, our thinking, well then, it’s time to do some self examination. It’s a much more gratifying and successful mission than complaining, grousing, judging, blaming and shaming.

Hoponopono is the Polynesian belief we focus direct healing energy within ourselves on whatever the situation or distress the outer worlds are presenting to us. The mantra is, “I’m sorry, Forgive me, I love you.” We can rearrange those words in any fashion. The concept is we have all the woes and ills of the world within us as the timelines are deep and far reaching. Even if you can’t wrap around multiple lifetimes, just the genetic DNA of cellular memory connects us to every ancestor’s deeds and misdeeds. Thus a ton of forgiveness work needs to happen. This is just as important for all the political strife. Go within, heal us before we shout and point fingers.

I’ve known one of my emotional triggers is sex. Others don’t flinch when I cringe. For others their triggers can be money, security, food, safety, injustice, disceit, power and control and/or a myriad of other insecurity issues. Triggers are interesting. I feel my triggers in my solar plexus, third chakra challenges of self worth, esteem, will power, confidence. It goes to my core of “I’m not enough.” I know some of these fears are not mine but carrydowns from my genetic pool but others are definitely mine. I attract people to me that trigger those buttons, forcing me to examine my beliefs, my ‘self,’ and walk my talk. Obviously if people or situations show up that instill within ourselves triggering fears and create reasons to step back and examine, there’s a bigger reason, something that needs addressing and healing.

Something said recently anchored in my over-critical mind, spinning round and round on my lazy-susan examining table, as I tried to make sense of it, not take personally and see it from another angle, a male perspective. I actually work hard on bridging the male/female gaps as there are always two sides and the male/female mind differences can be chasms apart especially when it comes to sex. Again, this is just my trigger. Rather than do my regular cross-examination conversation, I decided to take a different approach. I went into a quiet space, and started repeating the “I’m sorry, Forgive me, I love you,” mantra to all aspects, all timelines, all pieces of me. I know these also represent all of us as we are all One whether we really believe or not. It’s still truth. I know every side of the human sexual story has been mine to witness and experience from betrayal, affairs, control, prostitution, straight, gay, trans-everything, abuse, rape pillage, disrespect, whore, slut, orgies- hell- every dark sexual misogynistic misuse of power and disconnection.

“I’m sorry. Forgive me. I love you.”


I can honestly say, without doing anything else, my over-active mind quieted. The weight I’d felt around the issue has completely disappeared. Even the exact content of how things were presented have softened, no longer having impact. By forgiving myself, my lineage, I have no judgement, criticism or reaction to someone else. How can I when some aspect of myself is just as complicit in the actions?

My invitation is to “look within” the next time an instant “re”action is elicited, (“re” means to repeat, do again, highlighting the past) or an emotional insecurity is triggered. Quiet the mind and repeat the mantra, like counting shells on a beach, or rosary beads, or taking steps around a labyrinth. Breathe steadily. Believe our silent yet powerful actions are making huge and paramount changes if only within ourselves. Then we truly are the change we need to see in the world. Remember it really is always all about us.

Cosmic sunshine to you.

Sex and misappropriation of intention, are two of the biggest, most critical areas on the planet in need of clean-up and change. It begins with us. So pull out the mops and cleaners, scrub brushes and towels. Put on the apron and cap and let’s all go to work. From the inside out.


Candia Sanders is an International Medical Intuitive, Healer, Author and Speaker -an Eternal Optimist- who has helped countless thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is also the author of the transcendent new book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“.


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“We are Crystalline Soul Structures”

I love living in the snow. I’ve had snow on the ground since early December. It makes my home bright and happy and light, very light. I love standing under the big open sky as magical ice crystals fall all around. Each one special unique rare exceptional! Like us. Just like us!


Everyone has their own beliefs and for each, their beliefs are true and real. We each create our own construct. The point I’d emphasize is to question, make sure they’re your beliefs not someone else’s placed on you because they worked for them. In other words, question Every flipping thing till it feels right in your heart. With that being said,  I’ll never tell anyone how to believe however I can share what I see to be true.


From my perspective traveling out there in the universal energies we are so unique and amazing and extraordinary- I love that ~ Extra Ordinary ~ every breath we take is magical. We truly are like snowflakes, our crystaline structures unimaginably beautiful, singular, yet part of the entire snow fall. We are from snow/soul clusters, our soul mates, our special loving buddies we do the dance with regularly through the eons. I feel this is what it means to find “our tribe.” These souls understand us better than other souls as we’ve been everything ~ lover, mother, father, brother, sister, friend enemy, fire, earth, water, wind, to each other. Our soul mateys. This is where we can find our best love matches. We know when we feel it in our hearts. The other matches are for learning what works or… doesn’t.

Twin Flames? Perhaps they’re the real meal deal? Personally I don’t believe there’s just one perfect match. It’d be like saying all those other beautiful and unique snowflakes don’t fit our specialized needs. Won’t make up the light bright snow fields. Doesn’t work for me, however that doesn’t make it untrue for others. I believe when we step up to our highest essence, our hearts can burn together as in twin flame style. We have to do it though, take the risks, the dark falls till we create our crystalline structure in its highest magnificence ready to mirror love that’s our unique match.

Our soul crystalline structures are far from delicate, in fact I believe the opposite is true. I believe we are strong and powerful and full of so much life, love and wisdom. However as a whole, maybe “hole” as in a big dark one, would be more appropriate with what our outer world is showing, mirroring to us, we have forgotten. Time for shoveling I’m thinking…..We have to remember. Remember…

…We are but one small snowflake separate yet magically connected, to our other special snowflakes that are scattered in other time constructs, parallel lives, making snowfields, living out various aspects of our ever evolving soul personity matrix. Our snowflake maker, (our higher selves-a good 75% of who we are) is in the higher realms, like Oz, continuing to make sure the snowflakes continue to distribute their wealth of design.

We are ever evolving. Our crystal designs are sparkling brighter as our frequencies align with the earth’s as she spins at higher hertz, through the cosmos. The most important thing to take in-again feel this in your heart -is we are completely 100% in charge of our design, our world. 100%. We have the ability to merge with the eternal cosmic energies to actualize our adventures. That’s why we are a unique prototype, a rare snowflake in the cosmos. We stepped outside the matrix decades ago. We just didn’t realize it, being still caught up in misperceptions, and eons-old systems of behavior and belief.

And we wonder why UFO sitings are up as they line up in our veritable cosmic parking lot checking us out? We stepped off the matrix merry-go-round.  We are helping reshape the things to come. We impact the multiple layers and levels throughout the universe and various timeframes. They’re here with their popcorn and sandchairs waiting to see what’s next in our Cosmic docu-comedy. And you think I’m kidding…

As our crystalline structure becomes more brilliant, we may experience moments of equilibrium imbalances, as if the floor just moved, or the earth sneezed, or feelings of alonenessness (which is ironically the opposite of truth,) health issues in need of addressing, which are related to old emotional baggage coming to the forefront. It’s just the light becoming brighter. It’s important to never forget through all the personal changes, we are all unique snowflakes, creating snow covered cosmic mountains ever more brilliant. Seek out your soul mateys, listen from your heart. Make snow angels with your snowmates.

And like Dr Emoto’s incredible water research has shown, each emotion changes the structure of the water whether frozen or not. Our gloriously radiant snowflake’s crystalline structure becomes ever more lustrous with love being the creative binding architectural force.



Knowing this, that we construct our reality, what are we going to do?  Be?

We are our own staggeringly beautiful unique crystalline snowflakes. Let’s dance together under the magnificent diamond glittered sky. Making magic. Making white carpets of brilliance.


Cosmic sunshine to you.



Candia Sanders is an International Medical Intuitive, Healer, Author and Speaker who has helped countless thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is also the author of the transcendent new book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“.


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“Loving the Pain”

I don’t know about you but I love Love! Every aspect of it. I Love life, even the pitfalls and pain. I’m stronger, deeper, more whole because of it. I welcome it, embrace it in every ounce of who I am, even when I hold things at arms length while I wrap my head and heart around the confusion, the insecurities, till I feel comfortable. We all need to feel safe and comfortable. I believe “Loving the Pain” is essential.

We’d love to avoid the superhighway of hurt, sadness, gut-wrenching Pain, however, we wouldn’t grow if we did. I know a lot of people who have chosen to move into a noncommittal, uninvolved, cautious, almost restrained relationship with life, themselves, with others. It keeps the heart in reserve, wary. Oh yeah….heart attacks….an unhealthy bi-product. Bigger truth here~ we, you and I have all chosen to be here so we can learn, dive, feel, be. If we didn’t experience the intensity of the road, we’d miss the beauty.

One thing I’ve learned well is when things are off balance or uncomfortable or painful I always bring it back to me, to myself to see what’s out of balance within me. Dive into the ooohey gooey mess. When things are said or acted upon that create an emotional trigger – well guess what? It’s about you, me, something within us that requires attention and healing and love. Even through death. Death is about trust ironically. Trust that all is well and perfect and the way it’s supposed to be even when it feels the opposite. Love the Pain. Why? Because I believe in the divinity  of life and love and relationships and pain.


When we Love the Pain it actually disappears like smoke from a night fire, evaporating and melting into the cosmos, like the transformation of wood to flame to sparks to ash to dissolving vapor, an alchemical metamorphosis of form and energy, of Pain into Love.


When life throws a few curves remember we’ve the skills and most of all, Heart, to maneuver the corners, crossings and intersections. Loving the love, loving the Pain, loving the beauty of the journey. Ironically it’s what feed our souls.


Cosmic sunshine to you.


Candia Sanders is an International Medical Intuitive, Healer, Author and Speaker who has helped countless thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is also the author of the transcendent new book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“.


Posted in Cosmic Tidbits, Death and Dying, Energy healing, Good Vibes, Grief, Healing, healing tools, Intuitive Listening, observation, psychic insights, relationships, Spiritual wellness, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“The “Heart” of the Matter”

This is what everything in this world, boils down to: “The “Heart” of the Matter.” Because without “Heart”nothing matters. Matter literally disappears in importance. Simple.


Without “Heart:”

We can’t love deeply, truly, completely.

We keep our relationships stuck in the mental arena, with love being intellecualized, real feelings never actualized. We never truly love.

We really don’t care?

We eat unconsciously polluting our bodies with garbage.

We respect power and greed more than someone’s good intent.

We “allow” health care to run like a business.

We vote in Illuminati to rule our world.

We take to the streets rioting without really knowing why we are there.

We destroy property and vandalize without conscience.

We  throw stones of cruelty and negativity over differing  beliefs.

We don’t speak our truths.

We have sex for sex without consciousness.

We pollute without consequence.

We brutalize animals.

We terrorize  humans.

We make religion more important than the message.

We don’t tell others we love them.

We don’t recognize our connection to the universe.



With “Heart:”

We love truly, madly, deeply, Whole-Heartedly!

We love unconditionally.

We care for others and ourselves.

We feed our bodies lovingly with healthy fuels.

We honor great intentions and support good actions.

We have health care based on cause and effect.

We have a government for the people by the people.

We take to the streets to clean up garbage and fix our infrastructure.

We clean up our properties and help others do the same.

We invite our neighbors to share in their culture, stories and beliefs.

We communicate lovingly with our families to maintain a healthy foundation.

We make love with our bodies, hearts and minds.

We clean up our lands.

We love our animals.

We walk in service with our fellow traveler’s.

We share our “spirit” welcoming other’s beliefs with open arms.

We tell someone daily we love them.

We feel connectedness to All that Is.

We leave this plane with nothing more than “Heart” ~ all the wildly intoxicating juicy and raw emotions and feelings we have delved into over a lifetime. Or Not!  That’s it. We can’t take anything else with us. Far too many run from diving into the “Heart”of their fears and biggest aspirations because either side of the coin, failure or success, is far too scary. We operate then from a place of complacency, negativity, complaining, turning our power over, never acting consciously, essentially hanging out in the unhealthy O-zone. “O” is for obstinate, obdurate, obsessive, oppressive, opinionated, obsequious, obscene, obtuse, obtrusive, opprobrious. And we wonder why relationships don’t work? Why we don’t work? Holy hell!

It’s time for the new O-Zone, with optimism at the Heart of matters!

Speak up, say the truth even if it hurts, dig in, find your core, feel your “Heart.” Go to “The “Heart” of the Matter.” Act everyday from this place of deep respect, honor, truth, justice, integrity. LOVE. Because in the end, it’s the only thing that truly matters.

Do it now. And if you can’t, I’ll hold your hand till you’re able.


Cosmic sunshine to you.


In honor of Dale D. Ross who died one year ago today who’s hand I held till he left with his Heart intact.



Candia Sanders is an International Medical Intuitive, Healer, Author and Speaker who has helped countless thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is also the author of the transcendent new book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“.


Posted in Conscious Death, Cosmic Tidbits, Family, Good Vibes, Healing, healing tools, Intimacy, Intuitive Listening, Learned Behaviors, Love and Romance, observation, relationships, Sex, Spiritual Concepts, Spiritual wellness, Truth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Wisdom from My Twenty Year Old Self”

If you had the opportunity to speak to your future or past self what would you say? Would you offer insider trading or tidbits on relationships, which ones to avoid, others to work on more diligently? What would be your area of focus? You could say I had such an event this week. I had an incredible moment of synchronicity, (I love auto correct (-sometimes- Ha!) it said “secret necessities,” for synchronicities. I’m going to have to keep that one. It’ll be my next blog – Isn’t that wonderful?) that in someways was almost surreal.


Wednesday evening I was in my garage going through boxes. I’m still in the process of unpacking and moving into my  home. This particular box I had ignored. I opened it up and realized it was from college. I shook my head and thought to myself, “I can’t believe I’m still packing this stuff around?? I must be crazy!” I skimmed through the top layers and reached in and pulled out a seven subject ringed binder.  It had a list of the classes for that term at the front. One of my favorite classes in college happened to be in this binder, Modern Art. I skipped to that section. My writing was clear, artistic and easily readable. I had written copious notes because I loved the topic. I casually flipped a page and it said Monday, January 16. Several pages further, Wednesday, January 18, 1978, the day I was actually reading in the present. I was reading this on Wednesday, January 18, 2017.  It wasn’t January 18 on a Saturday or Friday it was the exact same day of the week: Wednesday. I was absolutely stunned and amazed. I had not been through this box since college and here I am reading information on the exact day. What compelled me at that moment, that day to decide to finally discover what was hidden beneath the lid? A psychic nudge perhaps?Thirtynine years later and here I am reading what my twenty year old self had written. I laughed as I could feel myself writing some of the funny things I’d scribbled throughout. I’m still that girl. I would call that incredible magic, synchronicity, and stepping into the incredible cosmic time loop.


I instantly brought it inside to scour the rest of my notes to see if there were any hidden messages my younger self was telling my future self. The fascinating thing was the topic was France in the mid-1800s and how the political influences and challenges between the left and the right, the Republicans and essentially the socialists were impacting art on all levels. I thought to myself, well, nothing much has changed, right? We are still dealing with incredible dualities globally today that impact art, music, drama, writing and all forms of artistic expression.

*In absorbing the energy from the notebook, I believe my twenty year old self in hearing her voice in my mind, was sharing to laugh more, be spontaneous, essentially to flirt daily with life. Dive into the subjects you love, learn as much as you can. Absorb the richness of life around you in the here and now. She was very much in the present.

And what if this was about a wisdom exchange between us both, past to present, present to past? What would I share with her that would make her life better from my experience, knowledge and wisdom? In reality she hasn’t the years yet to share deep knowledge. I’ve now decades of life and sadness and joy ~wisdom~ to impart.

*The first thing I would share with her is to understand loyalty is a wonderful attribute however if it’s detrimental to you, your health and your emotional well-being then it’s okay to cut ties and chords earlier. You don’t have to hang on to the bitter end. The universe will still love and support your decisions.  As the old saying goes, oxygen on first.

*Next I would suggest, don’t postpone your life for a man. They are wonderful souls and beings, you can’t live without them and they enhance your life, however don’t hold yourself back due to relationships. Go live large! Again as as the adage goes, “To thine own self be true.”

*Thirdly, don’t let fear bridle you. You have what it takes to reach the stars, just do it, go for it. The only one that hurts by suppressing your inner nature, ~thinking of what others might feel or think~  is you.  You believe in everyone else’s talents and gifts, do the same for yourself.

*And lastly there would be a handful of guys I would definitely tell her to avoid like the plague!

Believing as I do, like Einstein, that all time is simultaneous, and that all time frames, dimensions and realities can influence the others, I have sent these suggestions, encouragements and invitations to my 20-year-old soon to be 21-year-old self. I believe in helping her reshape her future, I become better today at who I am. I too am taking her advice into my heart. I’m feeling the truth of her awareness.

I invite you all to share your wisdom, your knowledge, your experiences with some aspect of yourself to encourage that part you to be the best you can be so in today’s version You Are!



Cosmic sunshine to you.


Candia Sanders is an International Medical Intuitive, Healer, Author and Speaker who has helped countless thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is also the author of the transcendent new book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“.


Posted in Cosmic Tidbits, Dreams and Portals, Good Vibes, healing tools, intuitive knowing, Intuitive Listening, observation, psychic insights, Spiritual Concepts, Synchronicity | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Silence for Safety vs Awakened Communication”

Life goes in cycles, it just does. From every grand natural cycle down to our personal seasons and the dances we all do together. We are all learning together even when we feel we are separate, we are all in the game as a whole. I love how this works. We have all experienced the feelings of others lovingly supporting us or sending bad juju. We impact each other. Thus the emotional cycles.


Infidelity came up on the “cycle” radar this week, as we do the cycles simultaneously, supporting and learning from each other. Several clients were digging into their emotional insecurities and pathways infidelity took them on, even down to deep unadulterated rage triggering thoughts of crimes of passion. Not a fun process. Infidelity elicits a myriad of feelings; fear, humiliation, huge doubt, anger, blame, shame, hatred, loathing, rage, not feeling enough, “I am not enough.” This is an issue, a challenge we have dealt with as a species since we chose love versus survival. We became “possessive.”


One of the big life lessons I’ve learned through the process of the last several years is the Buddist concept of “detachment.” I’ve never understood it. Seriously, how can I not love my kids, family, friends “to death”…literally? It’s how we are hardwired. However, through the death process as well as doing readings always seeing multiple sides to situations, because in truth there always are, even with infidelity, I’ve come to a place of “nonjudgmental observation.” “Detachment.” To detach from our preconceived conceptions of outcome. Doesn’t ever take away the love, the deep feelings of intensity, yet it’s allowed me to see there are multiple pathways for each of us to take, to feel, to experience. Everyone has their story. It is not ours to control! I had to let go, “detach” from my husband’s disease, to be fully present in each twenty four hour cycle, to breathe in the hours. I feel the same is true with anything, even sex, especially sex. If we become present, to our emotions, fully engaged in our days, the moment, the process, the intimacy being offered, our lover’s emotions, first of all, the sex becomes delicious, intoxicatingly wonderful, and more than likely, infidelity won’t occur. Seriously why would it when it feels so good, “here?”

But if it’s does, viewing from a higher level of detachment, recognizing the steps that were taken to get there, puts the responsibility back in our court to see our participation in the passion play. It also creates a more powerful pathway to the other side of the situation. No one just does something without some cause, provocation, even if it’s buried in some subconscious vault yet to be discovered. There is always a reason. Feelings and insecurities run on both sides of the equation which can spark multiple outcomes and directions, thewhys” of our choices, (How “Wise” are we?). It depends on our own self worth.

It’s how we operate. We go into our heads, expecting, without communicating our needs, desires, sharing the depth of our caring. We withhold and withdraw then wonder why our significant other becomes distracted and looks elsewhere. Bottom line is lack of communication. Deep communication about how we really feel, our insecurities, our loves. Our needs. Very few ever achieve this. Why? Because how many take time to discover what truly feeds their soul? How can we communicate our needs if we don’t take time to learn, discover, uncover our own deepest heart-filling passions?  Life coach, personal energizer, Danielle Laport in her raw honesty, states in a recent newsletter headline, “All my failures can be traced to my silence.” Now that’s brilliant! Because it’s true for all of us at that subterranean, complex, mysterious, emotional strata. We don’t speak our truths. If we don’t speak, don’t get involved, don’t dive, we don’t get hurt. But we also don’t fully live and love and embrace life when we live on the surface, don’t question, ask, get involved and reveal ourselves to the light. We chose silence for safety. And our intimacy suffers.

And on another level, another plateau, we are not always supposed to stay with a particular person, a soul, for a duration. Thus infidelity. They come into our lives briefly or decades to teach us better qualities about ourselves. If we choose to listen, be aware and learn. It’s always up to us and how deep we want to dive.


Life is a series of choices. We can choose to be surface skimmers, non communicative, uninvolved, caught up in the superficial bull shit. Or we can dig in, realize we have an emotional treasure trove awaiting our discovery, can ask questions of ourselves, life and each other, opening the silence to a cacophony of awakened communication. And sex.

Cosmic sunshine to you.



Candia Sanders is an International Medical Intuitive, Healer, Author and Speaker who has helped countless thousands of people ease their medical issues, navigate important relationships and find their soul’s purpose and life direction. Candia is also the author of the transcendent new book, “Soul Rays: Discover the Vibratory Frequency of Your Soul“.



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“My 2017 Top Eleven “F¥€K-It” List”

Have you thought about the things you’re just not going to do anymore or you’re finally willing to change, let go? Say “F¥€K it?!”  Rather the opposite to collecting what you do want to do, your “bucket” list?  Well I have. These last several years, starting back in 2011 when my late husband had a fairly bad stroke which impacted him till he died, to his diagnosis with cancer, all the alternative and allopathic treatments, to the rounds of chemo and unnecessary radiation- watching someone you love suffer- my life changed. No one knows unless they too have walked this path, how it depletes your emotional reserves, zaps your energy, and puts your mind on overload. It takes time to recover, heal, feel normal. It brings you to a place of how vital each day is, what’s critical and what isn’t. It becomes crystal clear.


In the healing process, it’s very revealing what is good or no longer works in your life because your location has changed, perspective shifted. Clearing out the emotional baggage, recycling the heavily burdened, beatup luggage, is not only essential it’s mandatory. Thus my New Years list.

“F¥€K It” numero uno: “Im not going to concern myself with what others think about my choices, decisions and directions!!” Obviously I’m pretty good at not being consumed with others thoughts, otherwise I’d never stepped up to the psychic plate, however, when you deal with someone else’s family and friends after a death, and they all have opinions on what you do or don’t do, and what’s appropriate and inappropriate, how to grieve etc and you want to keep everyone happy, it becomes a heavy chore. I’m done. If people don’t like my choices, walk in my shoes.

I feel this applies to all of us. If we’re doing the very best we can at any given moment with the tools we’ve been given, then five gold stars to us! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

“F¥€K It” number two: “Nix being perfect.” I have been a perfectionist my entire life. Ironically it’s not about the world around me being perfect, it’s me. My thoughts, actions, looks, all perfect. Life,  through the “bulldozer method” of the last several years, has taught me, it’s not only impossible, it’s not reality at this level.  Age also has a way of balancing that perfection, as it slinks and sinks and reshapes our physicality. So my house is a bit messy, my hair curly and wild, my body less firm, live in yoga pants and Uggs, I stay up late and sleep in longer, eat organic chocolate and down honey, and I’m happy with me. Perfectionism is down the drain.

“F¥€K It” number three: “I’m going to say what I feel.” This past year I’ve been angry and hurt and mad and sad and have said my share of inappropriate words under my breath. Me who never says the “F” word, (there goes my perfectionism.) I have been put into very uncomfortable situations with the stress bearing down on me like a twelve story building. I’ve had to be politically correct and keep peace. I’ve had to hold my tongue then later scream at the sky. So F-It! Screw being PC. If this is the truth, the facts and is what is, then these will be my words. I will speak my truth. I’m in complete upfront honesty. Zero subterfuge and subtleties.

“F¥€K It” number four: “Im not listening to the negativity of the world, I’m leaving the drama behind.”  After my husband died a year ago, I turned off the TV. He was a total news junkie, living on Fox and CNN switching back and forth soaking in all the hyperbole, all the negativity.  I have always been intangled in the political arena and the dark underpinnings of the planet. I’ve taken a vacay. I’m not missing the constant negativity. I know I still get the vital pieces of news that are pertinent yet I’m not becoming embroiled in the gigantic division and polarity that has divided this county. I was given grief because I wasn’t caught up in the Hilary/Trump madness and the upcoming inauguration. F-It! I’m not going there!  I am creating my positive environment choosing the reality I want to live in yet totally aware.

“F¥€K It” number five: “I’m not feeling obligated.” I come from a family of saints. No kidding. My aunt, we’ve called Saint Sharon for some time and my cousin Shawn is now following closely behind to take up her crown. They cover every ceremony, every birthday, every everything. Me? Not so much. I’m invited by wonderful people to do things, share events and yet due to my healing process still don’t have that extra element, extra cush to participate. So I’m saying thank you very much, I’m grateful, but I have to say no thank you, not yet.

“F¥€K It” number six: “No more Worry.”  This is a family dynamic. Worry. I’m also surrounded by those who worry and fret and become anxious over all this “What If?” bull shit. What if this, what if that, and I’m worried about so and so and I’m worried to death about the state of the world etc etc etc. Well hell. Worry breeds worry. It’ll kill us, this worry, this fear. It totally stresses out the nervous system shortening our lives by inches, feet, years. Besides all it does is eat away at the confidence of the people we’re worrying about, back-firing the purpose. It never changed the cancer either. So F-It to worry. Instead I’m chosing peace and trust and calm.

“F¥€K It” number seven: “I’m going to say Yes!” I’ve been in the position I’ve had to say no to a lot of things, I’ve wanted to do. Now, I’m going to say yes to things, ~to life~ without feeling obligated and doing things I’d regret if I didn’t. Life is just too damn short. It’s literally time to make this the very best year, the very best time with what I have before me, with the tools I’ve been given, even with the goodbyes I’ve had to say. I know they wouldn’t want it any other way.

“F¥€K It” number eight: “To being practical at the expense of time and space.” I was raised by Depression babies. We save, recycle, reuse. From plastic baggies to holiday boxes, you name it we reuse it. Only, I’ve now moved to a one car garage home. There is no room for extras and things I might use again in ten years. I’m incredibly practical and can squeeze more out of a dollar than most. However, I’ve made the decision to take my husband’s new sport coats and dress shirts he wore once to Good Will so someone can use them who could really benefit. The dress bag represents several thousand dollars, however it’s time to let go and give instead of trying to make money from them which takes up valuable time. It makes my heart lighter. And it gives me more closet space. Nice. This is not practical but it’s smart.

“F¥€K It” number nine: “I’m going to sing!” My dad couldn’t carry a tune in a paper bag and had zero rhythm. Fortnuately I got my mom’s musical talents but have been convinced I couldn’t sing. I love music. I could’ve been a DJ, won music knowledge contests but still have shied away. Till now. I love to sing in the shower, in my car and  up close and personal. I’m no singer however I’m going to enjoy music in the way I’ve clamored for even if it’s in the privacy of my car. If my windows are down you might want to roll yours up but I’m going for it, F-it!

🎼I believe if we all sing and dance and unite under the umbrella of musical communication, the world will be a better place.🎼

“F¥€K It” number ten: “I’m laughing at everything!” Actually if looked at from the right angle, everything has the opportunity to be funny otherwise comedians wouldn’t have any fodder. Besides laughter is truly our best medicine combined with love. It’s time to find the absurdity in everything, the comedy in the drama. Make a point to laugh daily. Even in my sadness, I learned to laugh. Now it’s at most things.  As Shakespeare so wisely stated, “All life’s a stage,” so it might as well be “As you like it.”

“F¥€K It” number eleven: “I’m going for it!” Im going to utilize my talents. I’m not alone. We all have gifts and talents and tools to offer each other and the world, but we hold ourselves back from our true creativity for multitudes of reasons. Obligations, responsibilities, fears, timing. Or we think we’re not good enough. Well F-it! I’m going for it. I’ve written several books that need revision, healing card’s that need finishing, books I’ve out lined, paintings I’ve imagined. Well it’s just plain time to step up to the plate, make them materialize into reality.

If we all followed through with our dreams of growing a garden, building a green house, cooking great Italian, learning to track, carving a totem pole, to everything else in between we’ve wanted to learn and accomplish, we’d be a happier species. Laugh more too.  So no more excuses. Every day take one step closer to your dreams. It’s time to live without drama, live in and with peace. But we have to do it. It won’t happen without our participation. Join me with your own F-it list.


Cosmic sunshine to you.


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